Happiness as a goal
Everyone is different, from the way we look to the words we use to describe our lives. It’s not just that we are looking at ourselves from the inside out, but that we are also very aware of what we think, we think other people think. Our actual experience is molded by the way that we think about our experience. That’s why it seems so easy for others to view your life and say things like, “You have it good” or “If only I had what you had.” They don’t know, how could they?
The fact is, what “they” know or don’t know should have very little space in your head.
To be genuine, to be authentic, you must be you. You must spend more time looking in the mirror and finding the things that you like about what you see. You must spend more time looking at the world and finding the things that you like about your experience. Your attention to detail is the precursor to your internal conversation. That conversation is the evidence of your success.
Happiness is not a thing. It isn’t the summer beach, with the sound of waves and children playing, with the smell of suntan lotion and salt water. Happiness isn’t the relaxed feeling of sleepiness as you dog-ear the page of the latest gothic romance and succumb to the sleepy warmth of the sun as you lay under the beach umbrella. Happiness is not a thing. Happiness is a choice, it’s a decision.
Find happiness where you are now. Choose to select it from the moments that occur without planning or notice. Look for it in surprising and unusual ways, and experience it without explanation or apology.
Yes, it is easy for me to say. I don’t know what you’ve been through. I do know, however, that your attention to an experience brings it into your experience.
Some people view happiness like a frame. It’s on the outer fringes holding everything else inside, all the pain, aggravation, loss creating a portrait of life wrapped with happiness only touching the outline of the picture.
Some people view happiness like a mud puddle. It’s part of the big dirty mess, all integrated and indistinguishable from everything else, except occasionally when it gets splashed out by accident by a passing car or child playing.
Some people view happiness like it’s hiding in a field of tall grass. The search for these people seems easy and hard at the same time. The grass easily bending underfoot but never releasing the hidden treasure unless you, by some miracle or luck you stumble upon it.
I propose happiness is a choice. It is the decision to find relief from stress, anxiety, loss, fear and a resolution to look around and FIND a moment or point of attention that you enjoy. A color, a sound, a feeling, a smell. You have the right to find happiness in surprisingly magnificent ways. EXERCISE your right to happiness and decide to release your attachment to struggle. Decide that just because it’s harder, doesn’t make it better. Decide that whether other’s judge your struggle worthy or not, is not the goal.
Happiness is the goal.